6 Steps to Making Your First Dance *Not* Awkward
Article by Juliette Nieves
In the past seven years, I’ve seen and taken part in many first dances: as choreographer, performer, guest, or the main event (the bride). It can be painful to watch a beautiful moment become a series of bungled steps or worse, downright boring. I found that newlyweds that not only exuded confidence but actually enjoyed dancing for their friends and family followed at least three of the following six steps:
1
Don’t limit yourself to slow songs
Do you like rock, hip hop, salsa, or even Bollywood music? Don’t be afraid to put your favorite genre in your first dance. It will make creating your dance more fun for you and your partner and you’ll be able to throw in dance moves that feel natural.
Have a party song from that night you met in college, on your first date, or a recent pre-covid night on the town? Put it into your dance.
One couple I helped choreograph for decided they wanted “Shape of You” as part of the first dance mashup. At the beginning of our first lesson, both the groom and bride to be were quite nervous about how well they’d dance. Over a couple relaxed hours, those nerves transformed into looks of pure joy on both their faces. Dancing to one of their favorite party songs helped.
2
Feel Free to Repeat
You don’t need to make every move you dance unique. Create a sequence that can be repeated at certain times in the music.
For instance, make a set of moves that both of you dance whenever the chorus drops. If your song has the same chorus three times, that’s already three parts of the song you have steps for. Repetition allows you and your future spouse to relax. Since you have the same set of moves in a few places, you have fewer steps to learn overall.
That way your dance will be easy to learn and you’ll feel more confident dancing when the DJ announces, “And now it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting! When our new newlyweds will take the floor for their first dance!”
3
Honor your heritage
Do your family get-togethers involve dancing from dusk to dawn to salsa – or how about Bollywood at all your cousins’ weddings? Go ahead and put that style of dance into your wedding dance. You’ll feel more familiar with the moves since you do them all the time and you’ll enjoy the music.
Don’t worry if your partner comes from another culture. For instance, my husband and I come from different backgrounds; he’s Pakistani /German/Irish American and I’m Puerto Rican/German American. We decided why not throw in some Bollywood/Bhangra dancing!?
We both really enjoyed that style of music and dance. And it would impress his many, many relatives who came to our wedding (score!).
Even if your partner is unfamiliar with a traditional style of dance from your heritage, this could be the perfect moment to introduce them to your family traditions. It’s the perfect way for them to impress your family and for you two to connect on a different level.
4
Flash mob!
Ask your bridesmaids, groomsmen, or even family to be part of your wedding dance. (If you do this, usually people jump in closer to the end for dramatic effect.) This will make your wedding dance stand out. And it will be a lasting memory for all those who participated. Check out my bridal party killing it during my first dance below!
On that note, I want to give a shout out to one of my brides, Julie, for one of the most unique starts to a first dance I’ve ever seen. Not only did she want a flash mob of professional dancers (us) to start off the first dance, but then she joined us at the end. And she made this flash mob a surprise present to the groom. The look on his face when she joined in at the end: priceless.
5
Learn moves online
YouTube has tons of free tutorials for you to learn any style of dance you want for free. Why not watch a few first dance tutorials and see what moves feel the best to you?
Get started with our 7 Salsa Moves for Your First Dance video. If you’re reading this before March 2021, film yourself doing these moves and you could potentially win a free private wedding dance lesson with me. This brings me to…
6
Hire a choreographer
In between picking flowers, finalizing the menu, worrying about whether your wedding will have to be virtual or live because of the pandemic, having the time to make the first dance on your own may fall by the wayside. But by hiring a choreographer (shameless plug: me) you can leave the thinking and planning up to them.
A good instructor can take your vision and translate it into dance moves that you can easily do while looking impressive.
For instance, one of the couples I helped wanted to include a few styles in their first dance: Tango, Bollywood, and Ballroom. If this couple tried to put this together on their own it would have taken hours of watching videos to learn moves in styles they appreciated but didn’t know, hours of deciding which moves looked the best, and then finally practicing a ton on their own.
I took what would have been months of work and turned it into only five hours of dance instruction. I handpicked all the steps and broke them down so they both could learn them at a quick pace. After meeting only twice for a few hours at a time, they had mastered a 4-minute dance.
